Channeling My Inner Bono

I have always believed that if life were fair, your talent at something would match your enthusiasm for it. If you loved to knit, you’d be able to make gorgeous sweaters that fit perfectly. If you loved to play tennis, you’d serve aces every time. For me, it’s singing. I LOVE to sing. I sing in the car, I sing around the house, I sing to my boys. But I’m really not that good at it. At times, in fact, I’m pretty bad. And that’s not fair. Because I would love to be one of those people who jumps up on the stage at karaoke night and belts out some ‘80s rock anthem that brings the crowd to their feet. But I’m not. In fact, if I belted out anything at karaoke night, people would indeed be on their feet—to LEAVE.

But, despite my lack of singing talent, I think I may have found a way to be…

Wait for it…

A ROCKSTAR!

ALMOST as cute as my husband. Almost.

Yep, it’s true. And that’s because there’s an awesome group of really smart people who believe what many of us have know for years—that writers are the new rockstars. To prove it, they’re holding a competition for bloggers called Blogger Idol—and I’ve decided to channel my inner Bono and audition.

(Hmmm….turns out channeling your inner Bono just makes you want to stop what you’re doing and make out with yourself. I may have to pick another, less attractive, rockstar to channel if I want to get anything done around here.)

Anyway. You can check out their website here for more information, but the audition process is pretty simple: Tell about yourself and why you think you’re worthy of the title of Blogger Idol. This was tricky for me, as I’m not generally one to toot my own horn to strangers. But I gave it a go, and here is what I came up with:

My Blogger Idol Audition

I’ve earned a few titles since I temporarily left my teaching career to be a stay-at-home mom. “Nicest Mommy In the Whole Car,” “Best At Almost Always Getting Us to Swim Lessons On Time,” and “Vagina Person” are just a few of the lofty awards that have been bestowed upon me by the adoring masses, um, I mean, my two little boys.

So why would one already so decorated with honors pursue yet another—that of Blogger Idol? I guess I’m like the driver of the cherry red convertible Ferrari I saw the other day at a red light. As I gawked at the beauty that was his car, I noticed that he, too, was staring at something longingly. I followed his gaze to the next lane over and saw the object of his drooly desire—a sleek, gray Lotus. And I realized something: even Ferrari guys want more.

So, while I am obviously driving a Ferrari of Life with my enviable mom titles, my I-swear-these-are-yoga-pants-not-pajamas lifestyle, and my little ole blog (www.crazedinthekitchen.com), I’m eyeing the Lotus in the next lane. I’m ready to trade up.

I want to be the next Blogger Idol.

But, you might ask, aren’t you a mommy blogger? Isn’t that a little genre-specific—a bit like being a yodeler trying out for American Idol? I mean, sure, a yodeler can make some awesome yodeling sounds, but can she rock? Can she belt out a power ballad one week, a country-bluesy tune the next, and follow it all up with a kick-ass cover of “Hot Blooded” on Foreigner Night? (Note to Simon Cowell: There is not enough Foreigner on American Idol. Also, wow, I’m old. And not at all hip.)

Well, no, a yodeler probably couldn’t do all that. But I’m not just a yodeler, er, mommy blogger. Sure, I write about my kids sometimes, but I like to think that my strength lies in taking those everyday moments we all have and sharing them in an entertaining way. I make no effort to hide my imperfections as a mom and as a person, and I think that’s part of why people like my blog. And, I’m eager for opportunities to grow as a writer. If power ballads are my specialty, then it’s about time I branch out and try some country, or even, *gasp* yodeling. I’m pretty sure I’ll rock them all.

Thank you for your consideration.

So, there it is. I already sent it off, so if you don’t like it just go ahead and lie to me in the comments. As you know, I already lead a rich fantasy life, so that is no problem at all. The 12 finalists will be announced September 20, and I’ll let you know then if I made it. Meanwhile, stop by the Blogger Idol facebook page and tell them Molly/Bono from Crazed in the Kitchen sent you.

Now I’m off to finish this Google Image search of Bono pics. Yum.