Sorry Kids, Mommy's Outta Here

This post is the second in my "Way-Back Wednesday" series (on the third Wednesday of each month, I revisit one of my favorite posts from the past). Enjoy! 

Sorry Kids, Mommy’s Outta Here

That’s right. I’m packing my bags. Leaving my family behind. In just two days, I. Am. Out. Of. Here.

Ok, truth be told, I’m only going to be gone for 3 days—and then I am most definitely, almost probably, coming back. I’m heading out for a girls’ weekend with my six college besties, and I can’t decide if I’m more excited for the actual weekend or for the airport and plane ride experiences.

Sad, isn’t it? I mean, you know you’re a mom of young kids when a trip to the airport and a 3-hour flight BY YOURSELF feels like a spa day. I’m already dreaming of it: Getting through security will be a breeze with no car seat, no stroller, no sullen preschoolers who refuse to answer the TSA agent when asked for their names. After security, I’ll stroll to my gate, maybe stopping at Starbucks or McDonalds for goodies—that I won’t have to share!—and then by a book shop for trashy magazines. And boarding will be lovely: I’ll just waltz to my seat and plop down to enjoy my snacks and gossip rags at will.

But then the real magic will begin.

The plane ride.

Here’s what I WON’T be doing during my flight:

• Reading “Little Critter” books out loud.
• Eating smashed PB&J sandwiches and soggy cucumber slices.
• Learning how to play the “Elmo’s ABCs” app on the iPad so I can help my kids with it.
• Watching “Cars 2” for the 93587935798357^th time.
• Holding someone else’s barf bag.

Here’s what I probably WILL be doing during my flight:

• Reading something—ANYTHING—for grown-ups.
• Eating whatever delicious goodies I could find in the terminal without worrying about modeling good habits for my fellow travelers.
• Smashing my 4-year-old’s high scores on my iphone’s “Angry Birds” app.
• Watching a PG-13 or even (gasp!) R-rated movie.
• Politely ignoring pretty much everyone around me as much as possible.

So, as I pack my one incredibly small suitcase and my definitely-not-a-diaper-bag purse, I leave you with this link to celebrate this month’s “Way-Back Wednesday.”

photo credit

All By Myself

It’s about a trip I took with my kids that went horribly, messily wrong. And it explains why I now carry large ziplock plastic bags with us whenever we all set foot on a plane together. Because those tiny airplane motion-sickness bags?

Ineffective.

By the way, if you’re looking for even more Crazed goofiness, I’ve been featured on a couple of other blogs recently. Check them out:

Last January, my friend Daddy Knows Less let me rant about childless people who think they know everything about parenting. (And yes, I was one of them once.)

And then, earlier this month my friend Martinis and Minivans interviewed me for her "Inside the Blogger's Studio" feature. Read it to find out what hilarious lie I told my kids to get them to eat their veggies.